I recently left all of my local mom Facebook groups.. And here’s why..
I’ve really enjoyed being a part of these groups, I did, I won’t lie. I’m in nearly 600 Facebook groups (yes I’m a bit of a Facebook group junkie). It’s nice to check in to a local mommy group and stay up on play-dates and local festivities, other moms thoughts and opinions on subjects, what is locally going on in my area in the upcoming weeks, but recently I said enough was enough. Every time I’d go in to check on what was going on, or see what everyone’s weekend plans where I realized the drama, bickering, and mom bullying is just so, over whelming. When did we start thinking our own opinions are more important than others thoughts and opinions? My opinion is just as valuable as yours. What makes mine any better then the next? When did we start pushing OUR beliefs on other people, or making them feel bad for the choices they have made as a parent? If you don’t breastfeed? You are poisoning your child! You circumcised your son? A child abuser! Can’t afford the top of the line infant carrier? Rubbish! Your husband must not work hard enough to bring home the bacon, and obvi he doesn’t love you, as much as mine loves me because “we” have one and you don’t. Your house is clean? You must not love your kids! Your house is dirty? You’re lazy and horrible mom! I don’t know about you, but the three times I gave birth, I have yet to receive a, “How To Parent Guide.” I’m winging it, just like you…
Everyone is a person. An individual.We are all raised to have different thoughts and emotions, actions. That’s the beauty of being an individual, no? When did we feel the opinions of others, trump our own thoughts and feelings? As far back as I can remember the saying, “If your friends jumped off a bridge would you too?” Never did I see the day I, myself, being the mom that repeats that one, but for heavens sake when did we lose our-selves? Into feeling we have to have the best of the best and compare everything we do to others thoughts and opinions? We don’t. I’m in a group one, I won’t mention the name it’s private group, but we do share very controversial topics, and they all end in a non heated, adult, respectful group of mom’s with very different views having a non- judgement conversation.. There is no mom bullying. It’s my safe place, to share my thoughts and opinions, and its OK, why? Because, my thoughts are equal, just because I parent differently doesn’t mean its wrong, its just different.. and that’s 100% OK.
I’m pro-breastfeeding, and my son self weaned by 12 months. I would have kept going but, he was ready, I was ready, and I wouldn’t put you down if you have chosen to formula feed. That’s your choice as a parent. It’s your choice to make the best decision you think is right for your family. Weather it’s to circumcise, or not, breastfeeding or formula fed, weather you can afford that fancy baby carrier or the top of the line car seat or stroller you are not a bad mom for your choices, as long as your goal of being the best parent you can be is your main focus. We are all trying to make it one day and a time. We all have personal struggles and triumphs, when did we start a club of belittling and making other moms feel bad for having their own voices? I’m no better than you, and you are no better than me. We are equally trying to do this crazy thing called parenting and raising our children to be good humans, and possibly better humans then we are.. Guiding them, raising them to be little people, form their own thoughts, be brave, caring, kind… When did we forget that our parents raised us not to judge and be disrespectful to others opinions?Take a challenge. Don’t be a, “Mommy Bully.” it’s OK that other moms share a different opinion than you. It doesn’t make you, or them any better for their life’s choices, it’s their choice like it is yours on how you choose to be a parent. Be the different. Be the good and caring and kind to other moms, other individuals. Don’t bully others, and maybe just maybe one day, mom’s can unite and life each other up.. Instead of tearing each other down.
We all feel some days like failures, but that’s what makes us good parents we are all trying to do the best we can with what we can.
This is why I said goodbye to local groups.. I refuse to bully others, or be bullied for my own personal opinions or parenting. Agree to disagree and move forward. Stop the cycle. I did and you know what, it feels good to not have to, “keep up with the Jones.” anymore. I’m me and this is it, take it or leave it, but you know what? I’m doing the best I can, and so are you.. and that my fellow moms, is OK..
Stance on Mommy Bullying & Why it Needs to End.