I stumbled across an article today on Facebook, that literally stopped me dead in my tracks. The article was titled:

“I’m 99% Mother and 1% Wife — And It Has to Be That Way.”

I re-read it to make sure my eyes were not deceiving me… I clicked the article and investigate a little bit further.

 

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I’m sorry to the mother & wife of Good Housekeeping, who feels this way towards her husband, that he is really no importance to her.  Being a wife shouldn’t be or feel like 1%, and it doesn’t have to be that way.  You, my fellow mom, are making a huge mistake. I was always taught that being a wife came way before being a mother, because after all didn’t you say, “yes” to sharing your life with this person long before the thought of having your amazing children? Now to those who want to judge me first and throw stones, hear me out. Long before my last two kids came into the world, my loving adoring children whom I love and carried in my womb, there was a relationship between two people that were madly in love. We said our vows between ourselves and God. My husband was here before 2/3’s of our children, and will be here long after my children leave our nest. My husband and I share our home, our bedroom, our most intimate secrets and day to day lives, he is without a doubt my best friend and better half..

While there are more times then not; I’m tired, exhausted, and I’m not quite sure if I have showered in two days and-I’m pretty sure I’m on day two (or maybe three?) of the same yoga pants, let’s face it being a parent is physically and mentally exhausting. I often find myself staying up long after everyone is in bed to finish things around the house on more than a few occasions; laundry, lunches, mopping floors, or a blog article (or two), but I always make sure I make time for my husband. While we might not be in bed snuggling every night, I make sure his coffee is set and ready for the morning, we shower together, (and we save water at the same time) we chat for at least 20 minutes after the kids are in bed about our day. We are lucky to see each other for 2/3 hours tops before he is in bed, and he is up long before I am to leave for work. My husband does his fair share around the house, he helps me more than I feel I deserve. He listens to me vent about my long days at home, but I always make sure we spend time together, even if I lay there with him while he falls asleep. Your husband should to know he is important to you too. You are setting an example, a foundation, of what you children will mirror in the future. Your relationship between your husband and yourself and their future relationships. What examples are you setting?

 

If you are a person of God, you know that there is an order. God, husband, then your children, while at first I couldn’t understand how I could not put my children before my husband?  However my husband is my teammate, my absolutely forever, and after we raise our children, to in turn raise their own children, he will still be on my side, hand and hand, wearing my team colors, at home waiting for our grandchildren to visit and spoil at the end of the day, after our children fly on to create their own families. To be good parents you first have to start within your own relationship; your marriage, your forever.. It’s the foundation of your parenting. You have to connect with your husband, because before long your children will be leaving the house and you two will be alone again, not really knowing who the other person is if you don’t..

 

We are not rich, by any means, but even going on a date once or twice a month, picnic on the beach, a movie, even a date night after the kids are in bed, setting up the living room for the both of you to have some movie time alone, it is important, weather you think so or not. Sometimes something as little as sending him a text each morning to tell him that you love him and cannot wait to see him. You have to make time for your significant other or ultimately your marriage will suffer. Juggling parenting, marriage, homeschooling, working, hobbies, working out, friends, and you time is important, and not always easy, typically some things will likely be denied importance, but your marriage and your children should never suffer. Don’t deny your husband the admiration he truly deserves, make time to remind him, that he is important part of you too. Even if it means you might not get that extra 10 minutes of sleep, or you have to put your children to sleep 10 minutes earlier each night to do so, but make sure you are making him a priority. Making time for your husband will make you happier in the end. Happy Wife, Happy Life, right? Remind your husband why he choose you…

 

Go give him a big hug, and kiss, or send him a text message if he’s still at work like mine, letting him know why you love him so much, and start planning your next date night, alone. I assure you, you both will be humming a different tune and come back to that “parenting thing” with a clear head and a new pep in your step.

 

This weekend for my husbands birthday I planned a kid free weekend at the beach, I’ll be sure to remind him why he is indeed so very important to me, and our family, because my dear husband, you are amazing to me in every single way, and your role is just as important as mine..

 

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Open Letter to “Good Housekeeping.”
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2 thoughts on “Open Letter to “Good Housekeeping.”

  • March 31, 2015 at 9:20 am
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    I think a 1% wife wouldn’t stay married forever. But yes, I’ve heard a lot of that over the years – increasingly. I’m not sure I heard it so much when my grown son was little, but now I often hear that our children are supposed to be the center of our worlds.

    Unfortunately, what that leads to is burnt out, unhappy mothers and poor relationships with everyone.

    My children are very important to me, but one is already a grown up man, and the rest will eventually follow in his footsteps. If they’re my world, what happens when they’re all adults?

  • March 31, 2015 at 10:09 am
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    I agree, there has to be a good balance between the two, being a 1% wife, or 1% anything is likely to end in failure. There is a way to balance both, it just takes a little work.. (:

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